What’s love got to do with it?

What do kids need most to grow up strong, proud, kind, and fulfilled? The answer is surprisingly simple: to be loved. That’s according to Dr. Adele Diamond, Canada Research Chair Professor of Developmental Cognitive Neuroscience at UBC, one of the keynote speakers at the recent Success by 6 Conference hosted by United Way British Columbia (UWLM). Citing international studies, Dr. Diamond argued that the effectiveness of early childhood education lies not in the caregiver-child ratio nor in having the best teaching materials. What matters most is the caring relationship between the teacher and the children. For parents who can’t afford the latest toys or gadgets, Dr. Diamond offers a reassuring message: relax, and give your kids what you have in your power to offer—love.  There is no price tag for this. “Your humanity,” she argued, “is more important than material possessions or doing the textbook-perfect thing.” Emphasizing intent over technique, she added, “you can do the textbook-perfect thing, but if it doesn’t come from the right place, it will not have the desired result.” What else do kids need to flourish? According to Dr. Diamond, kids need to believe in themselves and in their ability to succeed. They also need to be proud of who they are. How can we help to ensure this happens? First, we need to communicate to each child that we fully expect and believe in his or her success.  Expectations play a powerful role in helping kids reach their full potential. It’s not enough for kids to believe in themselves—they need to know we believe in them too. “Treat people as if they were what they ought to be,” said Dr. Diamond, quoting Johann W. van Goethe, “and you help them become what they are capable of being.” Secondly, we need to give kids do-able challenges so that they can see for themselves what they are capable of—and take pride in accomplishing something they know is not easy. Dr. Diamond cited a study in which a group of 5th graders, with challenging behavioural problems and poor reading comprehension, were tasked with what they understood was a “a very important responsibility”—tutoring 2nd graders who were also struggling with reading. In a short time, the behavioural problems ceased, and by the end of the school year, both the tutors and tutees were reading much better . Lastly, to help kids develop self-confidence, we need to  ensure they feel connected to, and proud of, their culture and heritage. For example, studies of aboriginal communities have shown that youth suicide rates drop dramatically in communities where cultural traditions are preserved, and where the majority of band members are able to speak their mother tongue. At United Way, we recognize the critical importance of the early years in setting kids on a path towards lifelong success. That’s why we invest in initiatives like Success by 6 and United Way Avenues of Change. We also regularly convene early childhood development community coordinators in our region to share knowledge, discuss service gaps, and forge new ways of working together.  This group met recently at United Way to discuss the pathways of the Early Years development planning process—from recognition of community needs to implementation of strategies and programs in communities.